The New Pledge
I pledge allegiance to Barack of the Obama States of America
and to the Democrats for which he stands.
One nation under Hussein
With socialized health care for all.
Top 10 signs your company health
plan has switched to Obamacare
10. Employees given do-it-yourself heart bypass kits.
9. Must now schedule doctor appointments through the DMV.
8. As you’re wheeled in for surgery you’re greeted by doctors Moe, Larry and Curly.
7. You’re given end-of-life counseling, but you’ve only got a hangnail.
6. Creepy guy in the mailroom now in charge of gynecological exams.
5. Baby delivery only done in drive-through line.
4. When you ask for a raise, boss gives you Viagra.
3. Employee of the month program changed to amputee of the month.
2. When you call to make a doctor appointment, person answering phone laughs uncontrollably.
1. Regardless of what’s wrong with you, you’re told to take two aspirin and call back in the morning.